Product Advice

Cheap Strap-ons Will Ruin Your Sex Life

Buying a strap-on harness is like buying a pair of shoes. Cheap shoes will hurt your feet, give you blisters, and fall apart within months. Quality shoes are comfortable, perform well, and will last a long time. Cheap harnesses do not fit well, chafe, and do not provide the dildo stability you need to maintain a hard, steady thrust. A quality harness will fit your body like a glove, keep your dildo stable no matter how wildly you thrust, and will last you a lifetime.

The quality of your strap-on sex is highly dependent on the quality of your harness. Nothing kills the mood faster than having a dildo fall out repeatedly while thrusting, or having to stop and reposition yourself frequently because your harness keeps slipping. Or worse, you end up not having much strap-on sex at all because the harness is too uncomfortable wear due to chafing or size issues. These are all common problems with cheap harnesses. They are not dependable, stable, or comfortable. This is why I don’t recommend cheaping out on them. Investing in a quality harness is investing in quality sex for both you and your partner.

“But I just want to experiment with strap-on sex. I don’t want to spend much money until I know I like it.”

Here’s how this excuse always plays out. They buy the cheapest harness possible, use it a handful of times before deciding that it’s too shoddy or uncomfortable to keep using regularly, and then end up upgrading to a quality harness anyways. So instead of paying for a good harness in the first place, they’re out $20 for the first cheap harness plus the money spent on the upgrade. I’ve seen this happen in real life so many times. It happened to myself when I was young and inexperienced.

Look, if you’ve reached a point in your sex life where you’re comfortable having a partner penetrate you with a dildo, butt plug, or finger, then you’re very likely ready to upgrade to strap-on sex. So instead of settling for a harness that you know will be flimsy because you’re “just not sure”, make the frugal decision and buy a quality harness that can deliver optimal performance.

Why I Make the Strap-on Harness Recommendations That I Do

When I wrote the Best Beginner Strap-ons Guide, I did so with the intention of directing beginners toward harnesses that are proven and are capable of delivering quality performance. The last thing I want is for a reader to have their first strap-on experience marred by bad equipment. The last thing I want is to turn someone off strap-on sex forever because of a bad product recommendation. These recommendations and desires aren’t always convenient to the bank account, but I stick by them because I strongly believe that quality sex is more important paying the lowest possible price. You and your partner deserve better.

New O-Ring Set Features A 2.5 Inch Diameter Ring for Giant Dildos

Read my Tantus Silicone O-ring Set Review for a much more detailed look at this product. In short, I strongly recommend using this O-ring set, as the two biggest O-rings will fit most giant dildos and give you vastly more stability than any homemade improvisations.

In what might be the greatest strap-on development in years, Tantus has released a six piece silicone O-ring set with diameter sizes ranging from 1.2 inches to 2.5 inches. The set includes two O-rings over two inches in diameter: 2.2 and 2.5 inches.

If you’ve ever tried to strap on a giant dildo, then you’ll understand how remarkable this product is. Prior to this new product, it was near impossible to find an O-ring that could fit a dildo greater than two inches in diameter. In the past, I’ve had to resort to elastic hair ties to equip anything larger than two inches in diameter, and even the occasional 2-inch diameter dildo was incompatible with my two-inch rubber O-ring. Those days are now thankfully over. The 2.2 and 2.5 inch O-rings fit the vast majority of harness-compatible giant dildos on the market.

Since Tantus is famous for their high-quality, phthalate-free toys, and since the silicone O-rings provide vastly more stability than improvisations, the new Silicone O-ring Set gets my official endorsement. Having six different O-ring sizes at your disposal is immensely convenient to strap-on beginners and veterans alike.

The Life of a Busy Mistress: Giant Dildos, Tumblr, and Strap-on Reviews

I’ve developed a nasty habit over the past month of spending more time updating my Tumblr and writing strap-on guides than I have actually blogging. So as an attempt to break that habit and stop neglecting this corner of my website, I wanted to highlight what I’ve been working on over the past few weeks.

Filling My Life with Giant Dildos

Putting together my Top 5 Giant Dildos for Strap-ons Guide consumed most of my writing time last month. I spent a lot of time shopping, researching, and gaining some hands-on experience to determine the longest and girthiest harness-compatible dildos available. The results were jaw-dropping: The biggest strap-on dildo I found was a whopping 9 inch long, 3 inch diameter monster!

Answering Strap-on Questions on Tumblr

I spent the past month answering reader questions submitted via Tumblr’s anonymous Ask Me Anything feature. Here are some of the highlights:

If you have an anonymous question you’d like to ask me about strap-ons, then feel free to submit it through my Tumblr. You do not need a Tumblr account to ask an anonymous question. You do not need to submit an email address or personal information. You do need to check my Tumblr after submitting your question, as the only way I can deliver the answer to you is to post it publicly. I have no other way of contacting anonymous readers.

Of course, you can’t have a Tumblr without pictures and animated .gifs. I’ve been posting those, too!

On the Docket: Reviewing the Terra Firma Harness

My next project is to write a thorough review of my all-time favorite harness, the Terra Firma. The Terra Firma is so versatile, sexy, and well-made that it’s my top harness recommendation. However, while I continually praise the Terra Firma’s greatness, I’ve never actually given it the in-depth analysis that it deserves. It’s time to rectify that. Stay tuned!

How to Attach a Giant Dildo to a Strap-on Harness

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Since writing this guide, Tantus has released a silicone O-ring set that includes 2.22” and 2.5” diameter O-rings. I strongly recommend using this O-ring set, as these two O-rings will fit most giant dildos and give you vastly more stability than the method described below.

One of the top reader questions I receive is: “How can I strap a giant dildo on to a strap-on harness?” This is a common question because most harnesses can’t equip anything larger than a 2-inch diameter dildo, plus finding a rubber O-ring for that size can be a challenge. Fortunately, there’s a cheap and easy solution available at your nearest Target:

Cheap elastic hair ties can also be used as a functional strap-on harness O-ring. I bought the pack pictured here for about $5 from Target’s hair accessories aisle. Wearing a large dildo is as easy as slipping a hair tie around the toy and attaching it to your harness like you would an O-ring. It’s that simple.

This is the silliest picture I’ve ever taken, but it illustrates how easy and effective a solution hair ties are when you want to strap on a girthy dildo. The can of beans pictured here has a 3-inch diameter, which is a half-inch larger than the girth of the popular giant, Randy. With this set up, you should have no problems equipping a monster cock.

Of course, having a harness big and versatile enough to hold a giant dildo is another problem entirely. Pictured here is the Terra Firma Harness, which is a personal favorite and top recommendation of mine. Thanks to the Terra Firma’s unique strap system and interchangeable O-ring, you can equip dildos of any shape and size. Whether it’s a giant dildo or a dildo with giant balls, the Terra Firma harness will provide a secure and stable fit for it. Highly recommended for strap-on users who are into large and unusually-shaped dildos.

Black Friday Deal: Terra Firma Harness for only $39.99

Here’s another Black Friday deal that warrants its own separate post because it’s so damn good: The Terra Firma Harness is only $39.99 at The Stockroom. This is one of my Top 3 Favorite Harnesses of all time and gets a ton of action in my bedroom. If you like using dildos that are huge and/or have giant balls, then this is the harness to use. Thanks to the adjustable O-ring and the unique strap system, you can strap any crazy dildo you want on to this harness, and it will stay extremely stable no matter how wild your movements. It’s my #1 recommendation by far to anyone who likes using unusual dildos, unusual sex positions, or very hard thrusting. It’s also one of my top recommendations for a beginner harness. The Terra Firma is my “old reliable” and she has never let me down.

I’ve never seen the Terra Firma this cheap ever (The Stockroom normally sells them for $68.95), so grab this deal before they sell out!